"WHOA." My father says from the office to my left. I look towards him as a small winged creature flies stright for my face. I duck quickly out of the way, as I hear my mom scream from the kitchen, "There's a bat in the house!" I turned in time to see her flailing the kitchen towel and high-tailing it into the den. The door is tightly shut in 3 seconds flat.
As if it were lost, or possibly performing in a circus, it circles the room several times before taking the third exit of the roundabout, right upstairs. Matthew, having just finished pouting, opens his bedroom door to be greeted by the aforementioned creature. His door is shut in a little less than 5 seconds.
I crawl through the hallway, looking for this villian that has terrorized our home in a matter of minutes. With my body low to the ground, I see that he's moved on to Sarah's now-vacant bedroom, beginning his circus act all over again. "He's in Sarah's room," I say in little more than a stage whisper. "SHUT THE DOOR." Really? Shut it? Yes, Mary. Do as your told. Cowardly, I run to the room and shut the door, in a time that I am way too frightened to remember.
Dad is armed with gardening gloves, a blanket, and a towel. He marches up the stairs, getting briefed on the situation as he approaches the scene. He cracks Sarah's door and flips on the light. The bat continues his antics, as expected. I watch from the hallway as if I were front row at a Bat-minton contest.
WILHELM vs. VERMIN.
"Wilhelm raises his palm, and... ooh, ouch. That had to hurt Vermin; a slap right across the abdomen, and into the blinds. Wilhelm has got the blanket up now, and it looks as though Vermin is... yes... he's flying into the blanket! We've got quite a volley going on here folks! Wilhelm takes a swing, and Vermin is coming right back for more. This has got to end soon, I just don't think Vermin can hold up with this kind of offense from Wilhelm. But WAIT A MINUTE. THERE GOES VARMIN! HE'S MADE A RUN FOR IT... and YES!! WE CAN CONFIRM THAT VERMIN HAS WON THE CONTEST AND HE IS NOW OUT OF THE PLAYING AREA!"
The troops race downstairs to catch the pest. Now in the living room again, General Jeff swats at the bat with his blue blanket. After only a few blows, the enemy is taken down. Brigadier General Mary unrolls a white trash bag from the arsenal and assists the General in transfering the POW. As suddenly as he appeared, he is out of captivity and back to the living room. After a few choice words and a blast to the chess board, we're fighting at the front line once again, this time with more vindication than ever. The engagment doesn't last long, and he is soon in captivity again. General Jeff, handling the subject, feels a sharp pinch through his glove and works to get the enemy secured. Once in the bag, he is put into a Meijer Ice Cream bucket handed up through the ranks, and stored safely in the company refrigerator.
